#50 Thank You Forcing Functions
1 month to go
Yoooooo wanderer,
This Sunday, under the London smog, over milky coffee, I found myself reflecting on the concept of forcing functions.
A forcing function is something that creates significant change, like getting married, having a kid, experiencing illness, or getting a new job.
They're rare as advice tends to be 'stick to your knitting' and 'if it's not broken, don't fix it'! But why is this relevant?
Hec and I have been dedicated to our tech business for 4 years, connecting through Zoom calls from bat-infested apartments on Kenyan Islands to bustling Turkish coffee shops over crammed with chai. The tears, hours, and effort we've poured in are significant (at least to us, lol). As a result, momentum is picking up (whoop!).
U know what? I believe this momentum is a result of a self-imposed forcing function. We've decided to go our separate ways come August 21st. No reactive reasons, none at all. It's a choice we're making to pursue exploration and our dreams.
Him, to cycle; me, music.
Having this deadline means we've had to focus on what truly matters, both in our relationship and in our business. Our "years" ahead have been distilled to mere weeks, pushing us to clear out the clutter of difficult conversations that hid behind our many copies of 'lean start-up' on the bookshelf.
Yes, change always carries risks (how could it not by definition?), but the risk in life isn't failing at something; it's trying to fend off failure to please others who aren't even watching! So, here's to our next chapter!
What forcing functions could you add?
If the next year doesn't make you think 'wtf,' then is there some drastic decision you've secretly been ignoring? Why not have a kid (some terrible yet serious advice a mentor gave me)? Let me know; I'd love to hear about what's coming next.
Peace!
Lex
Let music updates:
Last night’s gig at Flux was fire - thank you for your vibe (if you were there, if not, see you at the next one!)
We handed out 75+ scratch cards
We had 2 winners, both with a grand total of £2 /each :0
Book of the week:
The Mind Illuminated - Training the mind is so simple, but not easy. Without resources like this, it would be near impossible
“Meditation is a series of simple tasks, easy to perform, that only need to be repeated until they bear fruit. So where is the sense of difficulty and exertion coming from?
We usually describe a task as difficult because we’re dissatisfied with our performance, which means we’ve started judging.
Your expectations haven’t been met, and maybe you’re starting to doubt whether you’ll ever succeed, which can sap your motivation. You’re not actually struggling with meditating, you’re struggling with unrealistic expectations and an idealized image of what you think “should” be happening. As a result, it feels like you’re forcing yourself to do something you think you aren’t very good at. If you believe those feelings, the ego-Self naturally wants to avoid blame.
If you can convince yourself that you’ve been trying really hard, then the ego-Self doesn’t feel guilty for not meeting its own self-imposed expectations. You can blame the teacher, the method, or concoct a story about how meditation isn’t right for you.
The real issue isn’t that meditation takes too much effort, or that something is innately wrong with you, it’s your judgment and expectations.” SOO HELPFUL WTF
Song of the week: